Maybe...

Maybe I should shout to the world how I feel. Maybe I should just hide it and keep to myself. What is the best solution, I don't know. Do or will I ever know? I dunno. There were many times in my life, where I broke down and cried. But, I stood up once again, and carried on with my life. All broken, all scarred, but my heart was still hoping for a light. Now, I came to phase in my life, where my heart is numb, from all those hurt and scars. Will I be alive again? I dunno. Almost 30, I feel like uninterested to the excitement of life. Why would I be like this? I feel sick to my stomach that I have became so indifferent to life. Obviously, I have my kid, so I will go on. But my soul do not sing anymore. What should I do to make it sing, to make myself eager for life? I do live, people will see me as hard working single mom, nice personality. However, do they see my pain, my numbness? I guess not. It's no one's fault, this is how life goes on. Do I count days until my death, NO. Because I have kid, my family, my parents, my obligations. But do I life to the full, NO.
Well, let's just hope, this pessimism of mine goes away fast, and pray that this was just one of those days, when I get stressed and down. Cheers to ya all!