Poem #3

This was spring morning
The snow was melting
The river was churning
You were there staring at me

Yearning the lost love
Missing the sounds that came
Embracing my dreary grace
With your sad blue gaze
You were there staring at me

This is the part where we say goodbyes
Breaking the long web of lies
Undoing the hurt we caused each other
Clearing the souls that we kept so far
You were there staring at me

This was summer evening
The flowers were blooming
The springs were singing
You were there staring at ... nothing

ARE THEY THERE YET?

The Beijing Olympics 2008. Sounds big and it is projected to be huge event in our neighboring country. The Beijing Organizing Committee for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad (BOCOG) was established in December 2001, five months after Beijing won the right to host the 2008 Olympic Games. Probably, they have done lot of work in preparation for the games. But, is the preparation is good enough when the Olympics is in less than 7 months?

Beijing City

My recent visit to Beijing was inspiring and informative. You can see that Beijing city dramatically changed in last few years. Shiny skyscrapers were built within short period, as if the mushrooms after the rain. New stores, malls, restaurants, hotels are sprawling throughout the city center. But, you still can smell the nasty smell, as the reminder of cosmetic operation done on old city. Sometimes it is so strong that it makes you gag. As I heard, extensive English training is being done everywhere in Beijing. As I tried to talk with people on the street, they were long way from “speaking” English. Taxi drivers still spoke no English. The good thing that I could point out was that the traffic jam was not so bad, as it were 2-3 years ago.

Air China

The quality of service of Air China flights were poor, flight attendants had no proper English and were not friendly. Whenever they make announcements, I could not make up what they were saying and when they serviced the passengers, you could see the “resentment” on their faces and hear in their words. I felt unwelcomed, poorly serviced. I flew in four flights in and out of two destinations, and all flights had the same food. I just could not believe it. It was either chicken or sea food with rice or noodles. The passengers were crammed like sardines in small Boeing 373. Air China uses small planes, probably to save costs, but its big inconvenience to passengers, where for four and a half hours flight I could not move. Toilets were unclean, tissue paper scattered all over the wet floor, and it had that persistent smell just after 40-50 minutes after takeoff. At least they could do is adjust the seating space to allow more room for passengers. Clean they toilets frequently if they going to cram so many passengers on one small plane. All flights played a video of how Air China became the official partner for Beijing Olympics 2008, and how they are hiring 300 new flight attendants only for Olympics. The candidates are going through very tough selection, harassment, and discrimination in order to service the tourists and visitors for the big event in August.

If I ever go and see the Olympic Games in Beijing this year, I will choose Mongolian Airlines (MIAT), as it serves better food, speak good English (as if I need to speak in English with attendants, keke), planes are not so much crowded, and they are friendly. I have no business with MIAT, but just my personal experience gave the thought of comparing the two.

After seeing, hearing, and smelling all this, I am not sure if Beijing will be ready for the Olympics in time. Probably, the BOCOG will do its best to adhere to the schedule and I would like to wish them luck! All I am left with is a hope for better and permanent changes in Beijing and Air China by the beginning of Big Games.

BETRAYAL

I guess many of you have experienced a betrayal of any kind in your lifetime. It could come from strangers, co-workers, friends, and even closest ones in the family. So let us try to analyze the actual subject, as it is reaching an epidemic in Mongolian society.

What is betrayal?

Theoretically, there is no fixed definition of betrayal. There are several attempts to define it, such as:

“Betrayal, as a form of deception or dismissal of prior presumptions, is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract (trust, or confidence) that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations. Often betrayal is the act of supporting a rival group, or it is a complete break from previously decided upon or presumed norms by one party from the others.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betrayal)

In plain words, it is one’s action that causes mistrust, hatred, and/or action that leads to negative impacts in one’s life. Most common forms of betrayal in everyday lives are betrayal of love, infidelity at the workplace, and betrayal of trust among family members and friends.

How do you react when your closest ones deceive you?

By theory, we commonly go through several emotions:

1. When we learn about infidelity, the first thing that comes to our minds is revenge.
2. Next, some of us try to find out about the cause and find some justification to the actions
3. When we cannot find rationalization that is sufficient, we start to despise the betrayer
4. On the next step we generalize our experience and start to be biased towards others
5. Sometimes, we even do not trust our own judgments anymore, as we perceive the occurrence of infidelity to be our fault
6. Thus, at the final stage we try to protect ourselves from future occurrences of betrayal by eliminating causes of such matter (women do not trust men, having a suspicion about co-workers, etc.)

What are the motivations of betrayal?

An array of motivations could be indicated. In love relationships, it could be loss of interest in other leading to having affairs. In the office environment, sometimes too much ambition could lead someone to do the treachery against others. In family, as taking revenge you could betray your loved ones. No matter of the behind motivations, betrayal is immoral and disgusting act.

What experience do you gain from such incidents?

In some ways, you gain negative experience by not trusting people around you. In minority of incidents, we could gain eye-opening skills of identifying falseness. No matter of motivation, condition, process of our emotions, the best thing we could do is to forget and go on with our lives. Moreover, remember that we are not the only victim of such immoral actions, and there are millions of others, who suffer from such trauma.

Conclusion: One day I might become a betrayer and hate myself to guts or become once again the victim of infidelity and cry my eyes out. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, we only hope for better tomorrow. So, I’ll be prepared to battle out all the obstacles, in whatever form it might come. Peace!

Note: I have found very interesting article about infidelity in love life: having an affair.

BEYOND BETRAYAL: LIFE AFTER INFIDELITY (By Frank Pittman)

If you interested, please read it at http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=19930501-000027&page=1

HOW I MET MY FIRST LOVE

I tried to remember the time when I fell in love for the first time. I tried to remember the times when I had butterflies in my stomach, when my head was in clouds, when my soul was dancing with joy.

It was when I turned 15. I met HIM in National Cultural and Recreational Park, while I was skipping class with my classmates. He was doing the same. It was sunny spring morning. Not lot of people was there, as it was school (work) day. Three girls kept bumping into two boys. Finally, as we sat down, two boys were passing just by us. My classmate T was very joyful and adroit girl. She called them over. Two boys were plain and ordinary looking boys in same age range as us. T demanded them to identify themselves, by asking their name, where they study, and what they are doing now. The other girl and I were shyly sitting in the background. At that time, my self-confidence was on the "floor." I would not believe, if someone said a compliment to me. Thus, I saw one of them, said to myself "He is nice." I did not believe that he even would look at me. T was still interrogating them. It ended with T taking their phone numbers and their taking ours.

In 1995, there were no mobile phones available; only home landlines where available, maybe even if you were lucky enough to have one in your home. If I remember correctly, the calling rates were flat for whole month, so you would not worry about calling someone for too long.

After few days, HE called. We talked all night until dawn. From the first instance we liked each other, and it turned into long-term relationship, that lasted on and off for five years.

ART AWARENESS IN MONGOLIA

From what I have learned and observed, the art awareness among young population of Mongolia is very low. We are in the Mongolian modern culture where only few performance art forms are considered popular comedy shows, movies, concerts, and drama.

Many comedy shows are worthless, as they repeat each other and play on irony of poverty and social disorders, such as rich vs. poor, mistress vs. wife, etc. Boring!

One decent movie theatre is Tengis, the place where many young people spend their free time, as there is no other “non-alcoholic and non-smoking” place to be found in UB. Movies shown at Tengis are 60-80 percent is Korean movies, as it is owned by Koreans.

Acceptable concerts of bands and artists are performed sporadically. Most concerts are of folk or “country” artists, where mostly old and “new” UB residents attend.

Notably, in last few years performance of drama have increased, which is a good sign. The last one that I have seen is “Midnight Dance,” which was good modern tragedy piece.

I love art and everything related to it. I like going to galleries and just freeze in time in space filled with drawings, portraits, and depiction of everything. Unfortunately, as far as I know, there are less than ten art galleries in UB and most of them are more into commercial sphere than art promoters.

1. Mongolian Artists Exhibition Hall (http://www.uma.mn)

2. Mongolian National Modern Gallery

3. The Zanabazar Museum of Fine Art

4. Valiant Art Gallery (http://www.mongolianartgallery.com)

5. Asian Art Antique Gallery (http://www.mongolianantique.com)

6. Xanadu Art Gallery

7. Chinggis Art Gallery

8. Red Ger Gallery

Source:

http://www.legendtour.ru/eng/mongolia/ulaanbaatar/ulaanbaatar_art_galleries.shtml

http://mongolianartist.com/galleriesall.cfm

In first three galleries, I have been several times, and even though the exhibition changes, the environment is kept at poor condition. The space is too small and crowded, and lighting is bad in these places. I believe in more commercial galleries the environment is totally different.

Opera and ballet are staged very rarely and not advertised properly to attract the general public.

I wanted to attend any classical concerts or performances in classical nature. However, could not find any in last two week.

How can you be art aware, when there is limited environment and space to enjoy art? Is there any official course or subjects taught in public schools that teaches children about art or art history? Well, do not tell me “Music” lesson is acceptable. As far as I remember, this was the lesson to teach the musical notation and assess your ability to sing. If you could not sing, you would pass the class with B or C grade. Any possibility to raise the art awareness?

Note: Above is my opinion and observation only and does not reflect any specific research.

Any place to spend my free time?

As many young UB residents, from time to time, I seek places to spend my evening time. I prefer places that are not crowded and loud, less smoke and with healthy activities.

Choice 1. Bars, pubs
If you like to chit chat with your friends over beer, it would be perfect place. Depending on the location and status of the premises, prices of meals and drinks differ. However, it does not matter if you are in fancy pub or just small bar, you will drink and smoke and chat, about eternal subjects, love, life, politics, and news. Personally, I get bored with such choice easily, as this does not add any positive attributes to me. Probably, harshly said, just waste of time. But I do go out with my friends and colleagues from time to time to pubs and bars, where we "have fun."

Choice 2. Movie theater
Tengis is only decent cinema, as fas I know. Most of the times, they show Korean movies or "modern" Mongolian movies, both with I do not admire. I wish UB had one or two more theater, where they show something alternative to Tengis. I wish that I could see something worthwhile, and be in "healthy and clean" environment.

Choice 3. Pool & Billiards
Again this place is crowded and filled with smell of beer and cigarettes. If you cannot play pool, you just got to sit there and smile at your friends, while they have fun shooting pool. Most places, which are reasonably priced, do not have adequate health and service standards.

Choice 4. Karaoke
Well, if you can sing, this is perfect place to spend your time. As most Mongolians, when you have a drink or two, the hidden talent shines. The song choices are limited to few Mongolian, Russian and English songs. It is hard to imagine why, but most karaokes have plenty of Chinese, Korean and Indonesian songs!

Choice 5. Disco clubs
Well, if you are able to spend a little bit more and get out at night. This is place to shake your stress away. In recent years, this have become the "dating ground" for young people. As I have observed, most people go there to meet people, not just dance and have fun. In many places you can see that old, "business" men sit on the tables around the dance floor and young pretty girls do their best to get their attention by showing what they can do on the dance floor. Seems very pathetic to me. One more observation is that Mongolians like to "judge" people. If you not dressed good enough, or you're not "standard" size, you are looked upon in the clubs.

Few places have closed down. For example, bowling alleys.

So, I'm left with few choices to spend my time! Any good suggestions?

Poem 22

Would like to dedicate this to my friend.

I know how you feel inside
I will keep your secrets beside
I will lie next to you in a dark
So that you could whisper the rest

Softly touch the truth
Caress the time with your love
Moon and stars are singing in the night
Our suffering will end
When our souls dance in the light

Be there in the depth of time
For us and for the future
Hold back your breath
So that your brain could freeze
Then your heart will shine with ease

Don't say a word with no worth
Plead with your eyes and beg for my love endlessly
I will fill your empty heart with warmth
Please wait for something hopelessly

MONGOLIA WITHOUT ALCOHOL

Today is Friday, the day as young Mongolians name “Baasan’s Birthday” and we celebrate that by going out to pubs and clubs. However, by City Mayor resolution No. 01, there will be no sell of any type of alcoholic beverages in stores, bars, and restaurants. How is that? This is possibly the FIRST day ever, without official sell of any alcohol in Mongolia.

It seemed weird, as yesterday after work, I went for a drink with my friend, and we could not find any beer. That was hilarious. I just thanked God that I could at least smoke and have my coffee. Pubs were closing around 9-10pm, as they had no customers.

The reason of such harsh decision was that right before New Year, 12 people have died from poisoning of some vodka, made in Asian Wolf private factory. Almost, 90 people are in hospitals, being treated for intoxication from vodka.

Doesn’t Mongolian Government realize that by prohibiting alcohol trade they are laying the foundation of underground sell of homemade vodkas, which could be more intoxicating? Yesterday, in taxi I heard people talking on their “walkie-talkie” – “I have found someone with permission to sell alcohol, if you need or if you know someone want to purchase Black Chinggis (vodka) and some beer, bring them to the city center.” Moreover, the cab driver confirmed that there is already a network of alcohol trade, such as that one bottle of vodka is reaching the price of 10,000Tg.

Plus, they are prohibiting the profit of private sector, such as stores, bars, restaurants, and pubs, which make majority of their profit from alcohol.

I understand that Government is trying to prevent further poisoning, but they have chosen the wrong verdict to reach their goal. I would not be surprised if there will be more people poisoned from vodkas.

WHAT I WOULD DO FOR “MY MAN”

You have to pretend to be male (if you are a woman) and to be mine.

It is getting dark and gloomy outside. Cold winter night is crawling upon us. We sit in cozy little dark room filled with light coming from fireplace. There is soft wool carpet on the floor and we are barefoot. You are sitting on the sofa on the left side of me and sipping your cognac. I’m sitting on the floor and purling like a little kitten, then placing my head on your legs. You are softly stroking my hair with your gentle touch. I softly look up to you and our eyes meet. Your eyes look so special with soft lights. It makes me dizzy and happy, so that it hurts inside my chest. I guess it is my poor little heart pondering from joy of you being near to me. Then I slowly get up, tenderly caress your hair, and kiss your lips so passionately. (To be continued…)

A little more about …

HOROSCOPES

I believe and read Horoscopes. I mostly prefer general description of zodiac signs, than daily horoscopes. I think that descriptions of 12 signs are 60-80 percent accurate. Wouldn’t you want to know about yourself or someone dear to you at that level of accuracy? I would. I would prefer to know 60% than nothing at all and not waste my precious time on getting to know someone. I’d rather spend my time loving and caring for them J Well, that’s just my thought. I know, people will say that horoscopes are not accurate and you cannot rely on them. However, my personal experience dictates that in most cases, signs are very accurate indicator of someone’s personality.

WHAT WOULD YOU BUY IF YOU HAD 100,000 USD?

If I had 100 grand, I would buy a car. Not any car, but very nice car. As a woman, I do not care about the power and engine stuff. However, this car looks so awesome! Just look at it! Don’t you think? This is Toyota Auris.

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS

If you have not read this book yet, I highly recommend you to read it. It is very useful insight to world of men and women. It is written in very plain English. I was interested in becoming Psychologist, and planned to do Family Counseling, but unfortunately could not pursue that due to certain circumstances. If you are in family trouble, or want to know more about psychology of opposite sex, read on. Usually it is available as e-book on Internet.

Are you religous?

Whenever people ask me if I am religious, I give them several sentence long explanations, due to lack of my and their knowledge about belief system and related subject matters. So, I searched for more precise definition of “my religiousness” and found the closest one to my belief system regarding God is Theism. Beforehand, let me “Wikipedia” you about religious belief systems.

A TAXONOMY OF BELIEFS ABOUT DEITIES*

It is possible to categorize views about deities in a variety of ways. One common procedure is to classify views about the existence of deities. This classification system categorizes view about deities as:

• Theism — The belief that gods or deities exist and interact with the universe.
• Atheism — A lack of belief that gods exist.
• Deism — The belief that a god or gods exists, but does not interact with the universe.
• Agnosticism — The belief the nature and existence of gods is unknown and cannot be known or proven.

• Some classifications group atheism and agnosticism together under the classification of nontheism — absence of clearly identified belief in any deity.

The main subcategories of theism are:

• polytheism — The belief in and worship of multiple gods or deities.
• monotheism — The belief in and worship of a single god.

This taxonomy is based on beliefs about the existence of god or gods. Other taxonomies are possible. For example, a different taxonomy is based on beliefs about the nature or characteristics (rather than the existence) of God or the gods. Examples include:

• pantheism — The belief that God and the universe are equivalent, or belief that acknowledges other gods.
• panentheism — The belief that the universe is part of God
• dystheism or maltheism — the belief that God is not, as is often assumed, good, but is actually evil

Other categories of belief include:

• Animism: The belief that everything has a soul.
• Monolatry: The belief that there may be more than one deity, but only one should be worshipped.
• Henotheism: The belief that there may be more than one deity, but one is supreme.
• Kathenotheism: The belief that there is more than one deity, but only one deity at a time should be worshipped. Each is supreme in turn.

The one I think I prefer and believe is Theism.

THEISM

Polytheism

Polytheism is the belief that there is more than one deity. In practice, polytheism is not just the belief that there are multiple gods; it usually includes belief in the existence of a specific pantheon of distinct deities.

Within polytheism there are hard and soft varieties.

• Hard polytheism views the gods as being distinct and separate beings; an example of this would be ancient Greek Mythology.
• Soft polytheism views the gods as being subsumed into a greater whole. Most forms of Hinduism serve as examples of soft polytheism.

Monotheism

Monotheism is the belief that there is only one deity. There are many forms of monotheism.

• Inclusive monotheism: The belief that there is only one deity, and that all other claimed deities are just different names for it. The Hindu denomination of Smartism is an example of inclusive monotheism.
• Exclusive monotheism: The belief that there is only one deity, and that all other claimed deities are distinct from it and false — either invented, demonic, or simply incorrect. Most Abrahamic religions, and the Hindu denomination of Vaishnavism (which regards the worship of anyone other than Vishnu as incorrect) are examples of exclusive monotheism.
• Pantheism: The view that the universe is identical to a deity.
• Panentheism: The belief that the universe is entirely contained within a deity that is greater than just the universe and beyond.

The rest of the explanations, you can read from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theism

From now on, when I am asked about my religion and beliefs, I will proudly say, “I am Theist!”

Note: Information is obtained from Wikipedia – The Free Encyclopedia.

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*A deity is a postulated preternatural or supernatural being, who is always of significant power, worshipped, thought holy, divine, or sacred, held in high regard, or respected by human beings.